every emotion you could think of in a week.

it has been about a week since i last blogged, but it feels like forever here. i feel like each day holds an incredible lesson to be learned, and i have been learnig a lot this week. I dont even know where to start about this week. it was our second full week at walk in the light. we have been digging out in the fields with about 12 women that work here at walk in the light. we are clearing out some land to make into a garden that people from the community can come and plant their own vegetables. We are also creating an irrigation system that runs through the field so that the women do not have to come each day and water all the vegetables by hand. let me tell you, it has been hard work. i have no idea how these women do this each and every day. all of us were sore all week from the work. we have had so much fun though together. i am blessed to be serving side by side by individuals who are teaching me so much more about life and about the way that God works through people so uniquely. Each day feels like a week at walk in the light, and i love it. i am amazed at how quickly my passion for walk in the light has been growing. each day i am learning more and more about Haniville and with that knowledge, my love and passion for the individuals i am living with is growing. i wake up each morning so excited to get back to the place that has stolen my heart.

part of our community engagement course is about building up the community and equipping them with different tools to do so. we have been meeting with the group of ladies that work at walk in the light every tuesday and thursday. this week we had our first two meetings with them. we did this thing called the river of life, which is where each person draws a river and writes their highs and lows and life. it was overwhelming to hear their stories. there is a lot of pain within haniville, and within these women's stories. hearing the pain and the heartache that so many of these women have gone through made me angry, it made me frustrated and pissed off, then it brought me to a deep sadness for the brokeness that surrounds our world. our time with them was so blessed though. the holy spirit was guiding us through those meetings. we were able to sing and dance a bit with the women, which was incredible. everytime they sing i get chills. In the Zulu community dance is a big part of every day life. they have this dance, which is called zulu dancing, and you basically lift your leg up real high then slam it down. that description is not doing it justice. obvibously they do all of this with incredible rhythm (granted, rhythm is second nature to most individuals of the community.) As i was listening to them sing i was once again just overwhelmed, but this time i was overwhelmed at the power of the Holy Spirit. God transcends every barrier that should separate people. we could not understand what was being said, but we were all worshiping the same God. God transcended the cultural, economic, racial and language barrier, and he has been doing that every time as we enter into Haniville. We played signs with the women, which was so much fun. we all had a blast. there was so much laughter. joy filled that place. One thing that really humbled me and encouraged me was that during the river of life we talked about the joy and struggles of haniville. every single women said that they have found joy through the things bruce has done for their community and for their own families. every one of them praised Bruce and the things he does for Haniville. One man has impacted countless lives in that community. He has so clearly listened to the call on his life and has obeyed that calling. He has brought more joy and hope than i could have ever imagined that one individual could do. i am so humbled by Bruce and the way he runs his ministry. i have never once heard him brag, complain, show pride,give himself praise. nothing. it is always about God and about haniville. he is incredible. he has shown me what a true humble servant of God looks like and what one man can do for his neighbors.






one of my favorite parts about my time at walk in the light over the last 2 weeks has been the senior youth. i was talking to my friend tanya last night and we were both saying that we truly do love them, and we have no idea why God has placed such an intense love on our hearts for them, but it is there. i find myself in constant prayer over them. The growth that has occurred in so many of them since the last time i was here is incredible. they are a beautiful group of students. their inner strength amazes me. each of them is so beautifully made in God's image. a lot of them have been going to walk in the light since they were much younger. they have grown up together. they are like a little family. they know one another inside and out, they have been the support for one another through hard times that most of them do not receive at home. their stories are so incredibly beautiful. God is working them. The strength that they show is unreal. each one of them has been through things that no human should experience. A lot of them have buried parents. Some are watching their younger siblings and are in charge of the house. Some of them have never experienced the love of a father. Despite these things that could so easily make them bitter, they choose joy, they have chosen to press on and love through the hard stuff. i have been blessed to just be able to come into this community and just observe the love that is within it. i am amazed. i am encouraged. i am humbled. each day 5 of the senior youth boys have been coming to walk in the light and helping us out with translating and working. I am growing so fond of each of them. Snesh, tash, njabulo, alfred and sihle are quickly becoming friends. i would consider them friends. i love that. i enjoy spending time with each of them.

every friday night we meet with the highschool/young adult group. this week we met again and it was great. my desire to get to know them grows more and more each day. i am constantly amazed at the passion God has put on my heart for them. alfred preached on friday to us on friday about relationships. then i shared a few bible verses and some thoughts about dreaming big and embracing the gifts God has equipped us with. after that we split into smaller groups to talk about what our gifts are and our dreams. i had alfred, njabulo, tash, sindi and sambile in my group. it was really cool to hear the dreams and aspirations the youth have. we were able to talk a little bit about the things that were holding them back. each one of them brought up finances. that broke my heart. i have been so blessed. when i dream dreams they hardly seem out of my reach. i know that with enough work, i can accomplish them. i have been given opportunities that these kids only dream of, and it is all based on the fact that i was born into a family of privilege. it is such a weird thing to feel, knowing that my own wealth is something that i did not choose but is something that has shaped so much of my life.


meet tanya and snesh. they are both great. snesh marches to the beat of his own drum and i love it.




we play games alot on fridays.


njabulo and tash playing soccer.



i have really enjoyed spending time with each one of the senior youth. on Saturday we brought all of them over to AE for the day. We played soccer, slip'n'slided and then had a braii (bbq). i had so much fun. we were all able to just hang out with each other. real friendships are being formed. God truly does transcend all barriers. walls are being broken down. the growth i have seen in the senior youth from the last time i was here is unbelievable. last time i was at WITL it was almost impossible to get all of the senior youth to fully engage. This time, they are the ones initiating and actively engaging in the activities. i am seeing the seeds that past semesters have planted now being sown. i am thankful to be here and be able to see the transformation that has occurred and that is still happening each day. i am really excited to spend my summer here getting to know each of them better.

nosipho and i.




slip n slide





some of the beautiful girls from the senior youth...











i have been so blessed by friends here. i am thankful for the people i am surrounded by daily and the ways in which God is challenging me through them.


i am learning alot more about the Holy Spirit and what it means to pray boldly in the spirit and allow the Spirit to guide me. it has been transformational. i dont even know how to explain this, i probably will later on, once i process it more. i feel much more equipped though when i enter into Haniville. i know that i am being guided, i know that i am being used as an instrument and my words are not my own. i am experiencing a joy that i have not felt before. on friday ten of us walked through Haniville with Phindile and did home visits. We visited 8 different homes. each home was full of pain and hurt, both physical and mental. it was a lot and it was heavy. we visited a couple different homes where the people could not physically move because of the toll HIV has had on their bodies. as i was walking through haniville and as i visited these homes, i was overwhelmed by the presence of the holy spirit. i felt the presence of the holy spirit in the homes we visited in. i was able to speak boldly in truth. i felt equipped with the tools that God has promised us with. Ephesians 6. despite the hurt that i saw, i was joyful. i have never experienced that joy amidst the hurt before. i saw God shining through, i saw the redemption that was going on in some of those homes. even amidst the pain, God's light was shining through so brightly.

i had a hard day last wednesday. one of the little boys i knew from last summer came to the youth program. i think he is around 9 years old. Both of his parents died of AIDS and he is also HIV positive. last year i knew that he was hiv positive but i couldnt tell by looking at him. i saw him on wednesday and he is visibly so sick. he is tiny now. he has sores all over his head. i dont know how to process this. honestly, i am angry about it. i am angry that children have to suffer for no reason. i am enraged that this disease is destroying an entire community. i am frustrated that this cycle of HIV doesnt seem to have an end. i was thinking about the funerals i will attend this summer. how many of them will be children? how many of these children will bury their parents this year? i am overwhelmed. i have no idea what to think, or how to process any of this.

i am praying that i will purely be a vessel. I have no wisdom or words of encouragement to offer most of the people of Haniville. all i can do is offer to sit in the ashes with them.

ephesians 3
In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints...

to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says:
"When he ascended on high,
he led captives in his train
and gave gifts to men."

What does "he ascended" mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.

Instead, speaking the truth in love ...
we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

habakkuk 1:5
"Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe, even if you were told."