beauty in the brokeness

south african sunrise in durban


i am learning more and more each day about what it means to find my identity in Christ.
I am broken. I am weak. But i am learning to see the beauty and the glory of God in that.

II Corinthians 12-13.

it is only in my weakness that i am able to fully rely and depend on God. God's grace is sufficient for me.
where i am weak, he is strong.

i am learning alot about the power of vulnerability and truth. as a chrsitian, i have become so good and pretending everything is okay. i will say, this is what i am/was struggling with, but its okay because God is doing this .. which is awesome if that is what is happening, but alot of times it is me building myself up.

my dgroup leader challenged me with two questions:
1. what weaknesses of mine is God using?
2. what weakenesses am i hiding from everyone else.

i am rediscovering what it means to be real, to be honest, and to embrace both weaknesses and strengths.

i am learning alot here. there is not much to distract me. i love being back in south africa. the mornings are my favorite time of the day here. i found myself a longing to be with my friends from home this week. it is hard not having my best friends to process through everything with, but it is producing a deeper reliance on God and that was one of my biggest prayers coming into this semester.

this weekend our group went to Durban. We were able to shop in the markets and spend the day at the beach. It was perfect weather. There is so much beauty in South Africa. Everywhere we go i am amazed at the physical beauty surrounding me.

our group in durban:




my prayer for myself, and for the 52 other students on my semester is that we as a group will collectively learn how to see God's beauty in the brokeness of South Africa. My fear is that we will go into communities for our service sites and pity the people around us, that we will think that they need us. My fear is that we will look at these individuals as something to be photographed and observed. I have come to realize that there is so much beauty in brokeness. I think that areas of poverty have given me a small glimpse of the kingdom of heaven. i have seen what true community, genuine love and care, and reliance upon one of another can look like while i have been in impoverished areas. It is so humbling. i am blessed to be back here.

drive to durban


my friend sent me an email this week and asked me this,
"and i want to ask you a question allie...
which statement is of more importance to you, or which statement to you identify better with?
"God is."
or
"God is good."

i have been thinking about that alot lately.

fun fact about living at African Enterprise... mold grows everywhere.
there is black mold covering the frame of my bed, which apparently is really bad for you. the other day i opened up my closet to wear a black dress, and it was covered in white mold. it looked like a patterned dress. our lampshade, which is supposed to be brown, is white from the mold.

they are moving us into a different room this week.